Men Don't Listen and Wayne L. Misner 2018©    


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A Letter From an Exwife©

(By Wayne L. Misner,

  Dear Mr. Misner,

 I wanted to write this letter to you to share with your Writer’s group. If I can help just one person I’ll feel that what I had to put up with in my past marriage might help some other women.

  One of the many reasons I left my ex husband was religion. He thought he was God and I didn’t.

  Another annoying habit he had was breathing. But I must be completely honest with you. Sometimes I see him almost everywhere I go. As an example, just this morning I was reminded of my ex. Then I flushed it and everything went back to normal again.

  It always amazes me how he would, after taking the trash out,  give the impression that he had cleaned the entire house.

 My advice to you is to never get jealous if you see your ex with another woman. Be happy, because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate.

 One of the lessons I have learned, marriage is never to go to bed angry, but to stay up and plot your revenge. So I told my ex I wanted to kill him. He said, “you really need help”, so now I’m going to hired a hit man.

 As I’m writing this I must be very careful with punctuation. I need to write, “Woman without her man is nothing” with the proper punctuation.  He writes it, “Woman, without her man, is nothing”, where when I write it “Woman, without her, man is nothing”.

 I sometimes don’t like to think of him as an x but rather a Y like, “Y the hell did I marry him?”

 It has been said that marriage is like a three ring circus = An engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffer-ring! 

  Someone did ask me what should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? I said you shoot him again! 

  I no longer have any room in my heart for my ex. However, I do have room in my trunk.

  So my ex said to me, “you’ll never find anyone like me”.

 I said, “that’s the point”.

 So I want to end this letter with what I have learned from this adventure.

 The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of living in the present.

NOTE: None of the above jokes are mine. All have been taken from other places.