Men Don't Listen and Wayne L. Misner 2023©    

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Letter to My Daughter’s Future Partner©



I want to read to the groom a story called the book of love. Once upon a time there was a father. This father had two sons who he loved very much and raised by himself for many years. Then one day he married a beautiful woman and for a very long time she wanted a baby. Finally this father understood and put his order in for a girl and somehow the miracle was granted.  What an amazing and beautiful memory of watching the birth of this little girl who has been such a large part of my life. I was the first person to hold her. Holding her in my arms for this first time was breath taking. I wish that I had a daughter before I was married. Raising this little girl to the marvelous woman she has become, has taught me more about understanding women and their emotions than anything else in my lifetime. Where, before her, I always thought women were just soft boys. Wow, was I wrong.


I wanted my daughter to be like her mother, and she is. She is beautiful, loving, giving, gentle, kind, playful, independent, and is a strong woman. I wanted her to be like me and she is. She is opinionated, stubborn, passionate, hardheaded and empathic. However, I do remember one night when she was a teenager trying to sneak out of the house from her bedroom window. I told her she was grounded for two days. With that she used words that even I, a Disabled Korean War veteran never used. Apparently she must have learned them from her mother.


As much as I have tried to teach Sandy the lessons about life all these years it was Sandy teaching me what life is. As tough as I think I am, when this precious little girl would pour an imaginary cup of tea, I would drink it and yes my pinky was in the air!


My memories are filled with animal stories. When she was a little girl if she saw a spider I would have to catch it in a cup and we both would open the front door and let it free.

So many animals, hamsters, Iguana, geckos, tarantula spiders, dogs, cats, birds, squirrels, raccoons, just to name a few. Veterinary bills which would pay for most kids Ivory School College costs.


So today we have a grown woman who Graduated Rutgers Summa Cum Laude with three degrees, one in Biology, Psychology and the other in Cardiac Sonography. She has followed her love and works for Robert Wood Johnson Hospital System in the Cardiac Sonography Department, works for Kelly Services as a Scientific Recruiter, has worked and served animals at an animal hospital, has served the public at a NJ Suicide & Crisis Hotline and worked at the women’s NJ Domestic Violence Shelter Hotline. She is a Certified Scuba Diver, a sky diver and a Subpermittee Wildlife Rehabilitator. But with all these achievements in her life I wanted her to have someone who would love her and make her happy and she met you. What will I miss most now that she is married? That’s easy, our Father Daughter date night, where we go to dinner, a movie and then hang out together.


Now I ask you to look at her face and I will say I have never seen that look of radiant love and happiness before. You sir see her many beautiful faces, but I see a little girl with freckles and braces.

So today I give you the greatest treasure I have to give. But you must realize how hard and how much work it took to get her ready.


If  I can share some lessons I have learned in these many years with the scars to prove it is: Learn how to argue, expect challenges, listen-talk, maintain intimacy, date each other forever, and remember women most need love; men most need respect. One more thought: Memorize the book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”. So xxxx I give her to you today with these profound words, “Don’t fuxx err, I mean screw it up!”