Men Don't Listen and Wayne L. Misner 2023©    


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Emotional Baggage

(By Wayne L. Misner,

  We all have some kind of “stuff” cluttering our lives. It is so easy for the psychological “stuff” to accumulate. It can come from childhood disasters, broken relationships, etc.

We store this “stuff” in the closets, attics, basements, and garages of our being. On the surface no one can see how we hide all the garbage. But as someone wants to get close to us and opens one of our doors everything comes down on their heads and almost suffocates the innocent victim.

It is not hard to understand as time goes by, that everyone starts to avoid opening any of our doors. Sometimes we don’t realize the garbage is all over. We think that when we got away from the mess and when the dump truck took that problem away from us, our life would now be great.

All this “stuff” is different from one person to another. A bit of post traumatic stress, a feeling of failure, blame, anger, resentment, and on and on. We hide it in the garage, attic,……….but, anyone who visits us can’t step over it, or walk around it. We think this new person will help us get rid of all this stuff. Some might want to help but realize as they start the task that a lot of this stuff is sharp; it cuts and even stabs.

All we have succeeded in accomplishing is to continue floating in our garbage and drowning the potential lifeguards that try to save us. If you see yourself living in this horror house of garbage, maybe just maybe, your will realize it is time to do something about it. (What you say? Should I move?) I don’t feel this method works for a lot of people. I have been told sometimes your “stuff” moves with you.

What worked for me was Spring-cleaning. I went to each area of my being and looked at and felt (the emotions) of each item stored. I made a decision, which I call a “mind set”. My “mind set” was to acknowledge forever that the items I throw away would never be allowed to upset me again.

They are in the past as pages of an old book. My “mind set” of the future will be writing new pages and chapters to complete the rest of my book of life. I have held onto some of that old “stuff” as a beacon. For my personality today is a composite of the good and bad stuff in my life. The experiences I have faced have made me grow. I am today all of my experiences of yesterday. I’m not holding on to be a victim, martyr or a masochist. I want to use these experiences as the foundation to build my new house.

My “mind set” for the “stuff” I toss out and what I have saved is the same; I will never let them upset me again.

Someone once said, “Emotions are like waves: you cannot stop them from coming, but you can decide which ones to surf!” I surf only the good emotions now.